


essential and invisible

by betony



Category: Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones
Genre: F/M, ToT: Chocolate Box
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betony/pseuds/betony
Summary: Howl Jenkins and the puzzles of the human heart.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sobriquett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sobriquett/gifts).



At fourteen, Howell watches Gareth Parry get into a fistfight over his sister Megan's honor. It seems a great deal of nonsense to him. The entire neighborhood knows Megan's going to have a baby, and the wedding's still two months away, and Howell fails to see what getting a black eye is going to do to change any of this. 

Out of sheer desperation, Howell resorts to the one thing that might make his sister intervene. "Only think of the neighbors! What will they say?" 

Megan shakes her head. "Oh, they know Gareth well enough to know fighting's not really in his temperament. He's a gentle soul at heart, really." 

Howell personally thinks that no one unlucky enough to possess as unfortunate a countenance as Gareth could be thought to be _a gentle soul at heart, really_ but he can't deny Gareth's never shown a predilection, or talent, honestly, for fisticuffs before. Most likely because Gareth is, if possible, as obsessed with what other people think about him as Megan, but that still doesn't change the fact that he's losing badly. 

He tries to explain this to his sister, but she's watching the fighters with wide eyes, hands clasped together at her breastbone. Anyone else might mistake the look on her face for worry, but Howell, who is all too well-acquainted with Megan's worried looks, easily recognizes it as excitement. This is clearly the most exciting thing that has, or will, happen to her. He feels a sudden sad rush of pity. 

"Megan," he tries again, "Don't you think we should make him stop?" 

"Oh--hush, Howell!" She bats his hand away. "This is true love! You'll understand someday--when you give your heart away to someone like Gareth has me!" 

Howell hushes. 

At twenty-two, Howl gives his heart away to a falling star. It doesn't make things any clearer. 

* * *

Neither does falling in love with Alis, Deryn, Iola, Tegan, Gwenith, Alice, Poppy, Rosalie, Jemima, Lydia, Cressida, Arabella, Clara, Doris, or the Witch of the Waste, who prefers to go dramatically anonymous. Though, Howl reckons, Megan _ought_ to give him credit for exhaustively attempting to understand her perspective instead of carrying on about his no-good womanizing the way she does. 

And then Howl meets Sophie, and a great number of things make sense. 

* * *

As a general rule, Howl avoids doing the right thing, every bit as assiduously as he does honesty, betraying his lack of musical gifts, and submitting to mad heroic impulses. Particularly not when the world is bounded only by this: Sophie, flame-red hair down and magnificent, lifting her chin high in a charming nightgown she must have borrowed from one of her sisters. It's beribboned and flounced all the way down, but unfortunately also a shade of pink that clashes terribly with her glorious coloring. Given the determined way she’s advancing on him, though, it’s a distinct possibility that the nightgown’s not going to be a problem in the next couple of minutes. 

"Erm," Howl-usually so articulate!-manages. Something in the center of his chest appears to be short-circuiting. If this is love, it's even worse than he's ever imagined. 

"Oh, Howl," Sophie breathes, exasperated but not indignant, and kisses him. And then his world contracts again, to the feel of her lips on his. 

It's some time later that Howl thinks to point out, mostly due to the damnable shreds of decency left in his soul, and half-hearted concession to the nonsensically puritanical standards Ingary maintains, that if they’re going to keep this sort of thing up, it might be better for Sophie to go and stay with her stepmother. “Not for long," he adds hurriedly, "only until the wedding--" 

Sophie blinks. Howl reflects wildly that he is glad they got the romantic portion of the night out of the way before what seems likely to be a truly unpleasant quarrel. 

"Oh, Howl," says Sophie, in quite a different tone, and goes red again. "Well--" she splutters. "Well - whatever did you think all that was, earlier? We held hands, and promised to live happily ever after --" 

"Hair-raising," Howl can't resist adding. "I specifically signed on for _hair-raising_." 

"And my family and Calcifer and Micheal and even Prince Justin were there! What more do you want?" 

Howl considers Sophie, lying among the sheets and wearing quite a fetching scowl; as well as the chances that his heart, having been held safe in her hands, will ever consent to be transferred to another. He adds a final curse at Ingary and its ridiculous traditions -- though anything this mad has Sophie written all over it. Likely her cold practical soul has likely revolted at the thought of all the planning she'd have to do for her sisters' weddings and refused outright to do anything more. Or she doesn't trust him not to peacock around at his own wedding; she's got a fair measure of him there. 

Or she knows, as he knows, that this between them right now is far more honest and binding than any ceremonies and carrying-on could be. 

He lifts his hands up in surrender. Sophie beams. 

(Here you may see Howl, the married man. ) 

* * *

Later - _much_ later - still, when he works up the nerve to tell Megan, she twists her mouth into a proper Jenkins sneer. Fortunately, Sophie doesn't notice, as she is busy having a marvelous time introducing herself as his old cleaning lady's niece and gleefully inventing a whirlwind romance out of whole cloth, and if Neil looks rather skeptical that she's already far too familiar with the house and its belongings, Mari is too charmed by her pretty new aunt to care. 

“The great Howell, deigning to settle down at last! Tell me, how many weeks along is she, then?” 

He makes his voice as sarcastic as possible, but he can’t help but smile at the thought. “Oh, three months at least, if we’ve done our calculations correctly.” 

Megan’s face softens, and for an instant, looks almost motherly. “Oh, Howell.” 

"If you tell me you're finally proud of me, I can't be held responsible for what I do next." 

Megan straightens. "Probably something scandalous again. Can't have the neighbors thinking too well of us, can we?" 

Despite her words, she lets her hand rest on his shoulder for a movement before bustling over to harangue Sophie with advice. Despite himself, Howl understands her.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is based on one of my favorite quotes: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery.  
> This was intended to be schmoopy fic in which Howl and Sophie got married, and turned out to be slightly less schmoopy fic in which they don't - though I do rather suspect that might be for the better, as Howl really wouldn't be able to resist making the wedding all about himself and both Howl and Sophie strike me as horribly awkward at any public demonstrations of affection beyond arguing constantly. Plus I suspect Sophie rather enjoys the notoriety of (almost!) living in sin. I do hope you enjoy it nonetheless, Sobriquett! Thank you for your lovely prompts!  
> Finally, Howl's quote in the parenthetical is, of course, from Much Ado About Nothing 1.1.267-268.


End file.
